Hugs, High-Fives, Handshakes & Holy Kisses: working out your way to welcome

It's opening night for your life group gathering and your first guests are at the door.  Suddenly, you realize that beyond all the preparations for your gathering, the one thing you failed to consider was how you will greet your guests?  Quickly, you run through your options...

A) hug each one as they come in the door. 

B) shake hands with each person.

C) Pull a combo: only a hug the women, but shake hands with the men.
D) Go freestyle - hug the people that you know best and shake hands with the people you don't know as well.
E) Hug the women and Hi-Five the men.

Of course, if you choose to go with the hug as your way of welcome you should be aware that there are a number of options within this option as well.  You could give a "bear hug" where you basically squeeze and lift someone off the ground.  Bear hugs are mostly used by jovial people with good backs.  There is always the standard "three pat" on the back hug.  I'm not sure why three pats is the rule, but 2 is too little and 4 is overboard.  Beyond the bear hug and three pat, there is always the "side hug."  I have to admit, side hugs seem a little awkward.  The side hug seems to say, "We are close, but not that close."  Perhaps there are other forms of hugs to consider, but the point is... choose your hug wisely.

Perhaps the most relationally safe and more culturally acceptable greeting is the handshake.  However, you may quickly realize that there are a number of ways to shake hands as well.  Most widely used is the the "traditional three-pump handshake" which requires a firm grip and includes three low range up-and-down shakes.  Like the three pat hug, the three-pump handshake requires three shakes.  Two shakes is too little and 4 is overboard.  There is also the "conversation handshake."  This is a handshake where you continue to hold the persons hand after the handshake while finish speaking to them.  Be careful using the conversation handshake, you may hold the persons hand too long, resulting in your guest experiencing an awkward "trapped" feeling.  There is also  handshake / shoulder or arm pat combo.  This handshake includes using your free hand to pat your gust on the arm or back.  This type of handshake seems to say, "I'm greeting you formally, but we have a closer relationship than this and you really deserve a hug." Another handshake that is similar to the handshake with shoulder pat is the "handshake free-hand overlay."  This is a technique where you lay your free hand over-the-top of the person's hand you are shaking hands with.  This handshake seems to say, "I care about you."  Lastly, there's the combination "handshake / hug" where your greeting starts with a handshake, but ends with an awkward hug where your handshake ends up trapped between the two of you as you hug.  This handshake occurs most often when one or more of you is uncertain about the status of your relationship.

Of course, above all these ideas stands what the Bible says about how Christians should greet.  More than once the Bible says that believers should "greet each other with a holy kiss"    1 Corinthians 13:12.

All joking aside, your greeting is an important part of your group gathering.  The greeting you choose will help to set the relational tone of your night. Your greeting will almost alwys include a combination of verbal and nonverbal gestures and actions that will help communicate acceptance, and belonging to your guests.  And while I may have over-stated or over-illustrated the importance of your greeting, I do belive it is something worth thinking about.

My recommendation:  Go with the "traditional three pump handshake" with a word combo of, "Good to see you!  Come on in!"