The ABC's of Life Group Ministry

To lead an effective Small group you'll need to know your ABC's.  Knowing them and keeping them in the correct order of importance will be key to your success as you connect members and grow your group spiritually!  Here they are in the correct order of importance:

A is for acceptance -- B is for belonging -- C is for content

Acceptance = Belonging:  At first glance you might think acceptance and belonging are the same thing. While they are closely related, there is a difference. Acceptance comes before belonging.  Acceptance is what you and the other group members offer to one another.  Belonging this how a group member feels about their place in the group.  Content (the biblical truth and the life principals you hope to teach and for people will absorb) may be the reason someone signs up for your group, however, it won't be why they stay actively involved.  Acceptance that results in the feeling of belonging will keep group members coming back to learn your content.

Group leaders often get the ABC's out of order.  Many group leaders give content first place in the way of value and emphasis (CAB).  The result is a "CAB" ride to disillusionment and frustration as a leader.  CAB undermines your effectiveness.  Content driven leaders often end up baffled over the reason for their dwindling or and erratic group attendance.  They question people's commitment to Christ and spiritual growth and wonder why group members are not eating up and licking the bowl when it comes to their weekly opportunity to be taught such great truths and life changing principals.

Here's the truth... CAB's always wreck!  
ABC = great attendance and spiritual growth.

Content driven leaders need to memorize this phrase... 
"People don't care how much you know until they know how much you care."

Here are 5 ways to build an  atmosphere of acceptance:

1). Acknowledge Each Person:  Welcome every guest and make sure the other group members are aware of one another as well.  Welcome each person individually but quickly look for ways to connect them with others.  Say something like, "Welcome Jane, I'm glad you came!  Hey have you met Emily?"  Quickly get guests started in conversation with one another and then excuse yourself to continue welcoming and connecting other guest.

2). Affirm Everyone:  As you greet each person and introduce the person to others, complement them by sharing an important fact about them. Share something about them that you find interesting or impressive.  For instance, people often introduce me to others and share that I am the father of 10 children as a point of interest or uniqueness.  I have a friend who writes poetry and has published 2 books.  When I often share this fact about her when I am introducing her to others.

3). Assign Involvement:  Try and ask every group member to help with some aspect of the group gatherings.  Think about the small tasks you will need to do each week and ask group members to help you do them.  Invite another group member to help you greet people at the door.  Invite group members to sign up to bring snacks or beverages.  Ask someone to help you take attendance or cue up a video the group will watch.  Ask a group member to pray or facilitate discussion by being the first to respond to the opening question after the video teaching is over.  There are a number of ways to assign involvement.  Be creative.


4). Award  Attendance:  Some groups literally award attendance by offering a graduation type of certificate to all who complete the course of study.  Other, less formal ways of awarding attendance would be to offer special prizes or incentives to people who attend regularly.  Another small way to to bolster attendance might be to make announcements about good things that will be coming up in the next session.  Build anticipation with the promise of a reward but make sure you follow through!  If you say, "Next week at this time we'll be eating chocolate cake!" then you better have cake and let them eat it too!

5). Ask Questions:  Acceptance is offered and experienced when a person (or group) genuinely asks questions about someone and truly listens to the person when they answer.  Acceptance goes way beyond  just offering someone a seat in the circle.  It must include the opportunity to open up and share something of themselves with the group.  To begin with, questions should be about the person you and not related to the content.


Do you have any ABC stories?
How do you create an ABC environment?
What are some personal questions you would use to express interest in someone and give them the opportunity to share something about themselves?
 

Measuring Success: 4 Key factors to consider when gauging the success of your group

How do you measure success as a small group leader?  Most small group leaders have neither defined, nor determined how success should be gauged and measured.  Many are satisfied if someone shows up! While people showing up can certainly be viewed as a level of success, there are a number of other gauge worthy goals a small group leader should work toward. Here are four measurable factors for leaders to consider when gauging small group success.

1) Names and numbers:
The truth is, poor attendance to your small group should be an indication that something's not right.  You will need to take an honest look at your way of inviting and marketing your group.  If you started with a good number of group attenders but have dwindled down to only a few, then you may need to re-think your approach to programming and facilitating your group.  Beyond that, a lack of follow-up and care for group members will also have a direct affect on group attendance.  Be aware that the number one factor related to achieving good and consistent group attendance is your personal invitation and follow up just before the group begins, but also after the group has begun meeting.  

Because our church has strategic goals related to helping people connect in small groups, we ask our life group leaders to not only report the number of people who are attending their group, but to also share the names of each individual who attends.  Having the names of each group member allows us to measure the real number of people who are connecting in small groups.  Tracking attendance by name helps us understand if one person is attending more than one group.  When we only track numbers without names, we run the risk of having several people inflate the overall number of people we believe are attending small groups.   

2) Stories of relational connection:
Numbers don't lie but they are also not the whole story when it comes to knowing if you're successful as a small group leader.  Though there may be a good number of people attending your small group, another measure of success you should consider would be, "Are there any stories of relational connection from your group?" As a life group leader you are not simply concerned with seeing people understand Biblical content, you're goal is also to help people relate, connect, and move closer to one another in Christian friendship.

3) Stories of transformation:

The third measure of success is, "Can you share any stories of transformation?"  In other words, has there been any movement in anyone's life spiritually?  Are people picking up spiritual habits?  Has anyone shared how their attitude, actions or behaviors have begun to change?  Has anyone taken new steps toward involvement in the church or serving others?  Are there new commitments being made?  Are there any stories of healing, repentance, forgiveness, and faith?

4) Growth of leadership:

The final measure of success to consider is, "How have I grown as a leader and have I been able to identify other emerging leaders within the group?"  What have you learned about leading and serving others?  What areas of leadership have you identified as your strengths that you can continue to build and become even more skilled at?   What areas of leadership are you not as strong and therefore may need to identify helpers and co-leaders who can assist you by carrying out certain tasks related to the formation and function of your group.  Who among your group members is a person you have identified as a potential leader?  What steps will you take toward involving them and inviting them to explore their opportunities to serve the church in leadership?

What other ways do you measure success as a small group leader?

Invitation vrs. Information

Yes, marketing matters, but it will never beat the power of a personal invitation when it comes to filling your group.  If you are looking for an effective way to populate your group come opening night, you'll need to recapture the lost art of personally inviting people.  I know that it seems crazy in this day and age of color brochures, Facebook posts, emails and bulletin announcements. It feels entirely inefficient to actually have to talk to people in order to get them to want the incredible experience your are offering for them to connect, learn and grow.  How primitive! but, this is what it honestly takes.  Personal invitation trumps all else.

Having said all of that, here are a few best practices when personally inviting someone to your group.

Information as Invitation:  A lot of people get these two things confused.  They think that because they posted the event, placed an add in the bulletin, or handed out a flyer that they have done the job of inviting people.  What they don't understand, is that information is not an invitation.  Ending your bulletin announcement with "come and join us" won't yield the involvement results you are hoping for.

Invitation with Information: Use marketing materials with your personal invite.  The brochure or flyer you created are more effective when you are using them as a part of your personal invitation.

Invite them to join you.  People are often more interested in enjoying and relating to you much or more than they may be interested in the actual small group study.  Inviting them to join your small group is really like inviting them into another level of relationship with you. Share that you would like them to come because you like them and would like to share the experience with them.

Invite and wait for a response: 
Learn to personally invite and ask for a response.  I often ask small group leaders if they invited anyone to their small group.  Most of the time have they say "yes."  It's always fun to ask them a follow up question, "Who is coming?"  This is the moment when uncertainty sweeps over many group leader's faces.  The truth is, they don't really know who is coming.  Why?  Because they really only delivered personal information, not a personal invitation where they ended with a definitive response.

Ask and wait for it!  Your personal call should include information, a statement of inclusion like "I'd like to have you there," as well as a clear ask, "Will you come?"  We have found that most people are able to make the decision right then.  Many will say "yes" simply because you asked.  A few will politely say "no" but will be glad you asked.  And others will need to check a calendar or talk to a spouse before committing, but they too will be glad you asked!  In the end you'll have a better handle on who is coming and therefore you will be able to confidently prepare for your small group gathering.  Always end every personal invitation by asking, "Will you come?" and wait for a response!

Sample Personal Invitation:  "Hi John!, I'm calling to invite you to the group of guys I'm hosting on Thursday nights.  We'll meet at my house at 6:30 - 8:00 PM.  Our night will include food and beverages, then we'll watch about a 15 minute video that challenges us as men, and then discuss what we think about it all.  We'll do this for 6 weeks.  I'd like to include you among the guys John.  Will you come?"  (pause for an answer!)