3rd Gear Small Groups | Getting your group humming spiritually and relationally

My first car was actually a truck. Near my 16th birthday I purchased a 1963 Chevrolet pick up truck for $300.  I loved the look of my old truck.  The motor worked great but I cannot say the same for the the gear shifter.  It had an on the column, a.k.a. "three on the tree" gear shifter and it was hard to get in gear.  First gear was fairly easy, simply pull the lever toward you and push down.  However, 2nd and 3rd were more tricky.  Second was supposed to be push away from yourself and toward the dash and up.  Third was push away and down, but for some reason it just wasn't always that easy.  There were plenty of days I would drive all the way to school in 2nd gear trying hard the entire time to get it into 3rd.  Third gear was illusive in my old truck and I have found that third gear can be just as illusive in small groups. Read on... are you getting your small group into to 3rd gear or are you stuck in first or second?

1st Gear:  The Gathering.
In first gear you group will decide to meet regularly with one another (weekly is best). You'll do ice breakers and experience interactive discussions based on the Bible. You'll likely pray for one another's needs and share snacks. Group members may even be willing to serve the group by bringing snacks, taking attendance, or helping set up / tear down tables and chairs.  

2nd Gear: Commitment and Connection.
In second gear you'll find that a "shift" has taken place.  Group members are committed to being present.  In this gear, group members are now more comfortable sharing their personal stories.  In second gear, people come not only because they are learning good content, but they come for the relational connection they feel with the other group members.  A second gear group is an environment where people willingly contribute to the discussions.  Also, in second gear you will find that certain group members will begin to relate beyond the gathering.  They may talk by phone or internet, share lunches or dinners, or engage in recreational activities and other outings together.

3rd Gear: Belonging to One Another.
In this third gear, group members move to a level of fellowship, friendship and connection where they are comfortable sharing struggles and even sins.  In this gear you'll find that group members are willing to serve one another.  They share and respond to one another in times of sickness or need.  In third gear your group members feel responsibility to care for one another physically, emotionally, and spiritually.  They celebrate one another's accomplishments and sacrifice to alleviate each others sufferings.

How about you?  Are you getting your small group into to 3rd gear or are you stuck in first or second?

Body Language | what your small group members are saying without speaking

Do you want to know what people really think about the small group experience you are hosting or leading?  To find out, you won't have to create a survey or take a poll.  The truth is, they probably won't share out right what they think or feel; however, they will show you.  People often express themselves (intentionally and unintentionally) through their body language, otherwise know as non-verbal communication.  Let's lean in and take a closer look at how you can learn to read the room.

Understanding or Not:  People often show physical signs of understanding.  Observe how many will nod their head in agreement.  Others will make a  "humm" (simi-verbal) sound when they find a point particularly interesting or relevant.  Just as there are physical signs of understanding, there are also physical signs that people are not understanding or accepting your message.  They may shift in their seat, press their hand against thier forehead, furrow their brow or even rub their eyes.  Anytime a person's posture is asymmetrical it may be a sign that something is "off" balance in their experience or understanding.

Impatient or Bored:  At times people will show signs of boredom or impatience by glancing at their watch.  Some will bounce a knee or even look down and away.  They may pack up their things early or provide short answers to questions.  Others will disengage completely and look into space. Interested people will sit up taller and face the presenter or presentation.  Disinterested people may lean, slouch or even posture themselves away from the presenter.

Offended or Defensive:  Sometimes a group member will disagree with another person or perspective.  The most common non-verbal postures people use when they are feeling defensive or offended are crossing of the arms or legs and a closed thin-lined mouth.  People often may try and mask their offense or disagreement with a tight smile.

Engaged and Interested:  People who are engaged and interested will posture upward and toward the group or presenter.  They may tilt their head slightly (as if to hear better).  Along with a tilted head, you may see them furrow their brow slightly (different from confusion).  The furrowed brow may be an indication that they are processing the points of application related to the content or perspective you have shared.

The good news is that somebody showed up!  The ultimate negative body language sign is when there is nobody there!  So, learn to read the room and make appropriate adjustments to your relational learning environment so that everyone is speaking the same open and engaged body language.

What non-verbal cues have you noticed in your group settings?
How does your body language as a leader influence others?
Would you add anything to the list above?

The Leadership Hand Off | 3 reasons to share leadership inside your small group.

One way to keep group attendance up and group members actively engaged  is to share & rotate leadership.  Great small group leaders are ones who know what they must do for the group to operate a successful group, however, they also know what they can share or give way to other capable people.  Shared leadership in a small group is a great way to build new leaders, create engaged and invested group members, as well as bust the boredom.  Let's look at these three ideas a bit closer.

1. Build New Leaders:  There are a lot of people currently in small groups who have what it takes to lead a group of their own but for a number of reasons they choose not to lead.  One of the common reasons they choose not to lead is the simple lack of confidence in themselves.  Lack of confidence exists where there is lack of experience.  Giving people the opportunity to lead a session or two will provide them a small success experience that will certainly boost their confidence and give them a taste of leadership without having to bite off more than they can chew.

2. More Invested:  Many leaders take a "do it all myself" approach when it comes to leadership of their small group.  Servant hood is often a part of their motivation.  Their line of thought is  that they want everyone to just come and relax.  These leaders think they are being kind and doing everyone a service by not adding any pressure to do anything for the group other than be present, learn and relate.  While this is a noble idea, leaders often find that their "do everything to serve all" is rewarded with half-hearted commitment from group members and lack-luster engagement or involvement.  Shared leadership of sessions or parts of the small group experience will help engage group members in ways that cause them to care about the results of the group.  Shared leadership moves them from participant / spectator to owner and investor in relationship to the purpose and outcome results of the group. Group members who share in leadership will become more interested in things like group attendance, growth of the group members, and successful relational connections.

3. Boredom Buster:  Believe it or not, there will be some who will find your leadership and presentation style boring.  Even those who like you a lot will appreciate the opportunity to hear from capable others.  Leaders who work from the motto "variety is the spice of life" will find that there is strength in using a number of capable leaders to lead, host, or teach a variety of experiences within the small group season.  A good small group leader offers capable group members the freedom to lead using their own style of speaking that is true to their own personality, and encourages them to illustrate truth using their own personal stories.  Personal stories are interesting to group members and create an environment of honest relating.

Below are a list of areas of a typical small group a leader might consider sharing with other capable leaders.

Ice-breakers and mixers, joke telling
Intro & Recap of a video presentation
Teaching content
Comming up with discussion questions
Leading / facilitating group discussions
Closing prayer
Coordiating snacks
Information and care phone calls to group members




What other ideas do you have?
What other benefits are there to shared / rotating leadership?

Circles Squares | small group conversation-participation pads

One way to get everyone in your group to interact and fully participate in the small group is to create a small group "Circle-Square".  The circle square is a tear-off pad of questions and directives which serve to guide small group conversations and interactions.  The host begins with the first tear-off question or directive which is often a welcome statement that they read out loud.  This page will also often include some sort of ground-rules statement for how the group members should behave and relate during the gathering.  The first level pages might end with a fun directive such as... "Pass the circle-square pad to someone who played in their school band."  Once the next person receives the pad in hand they will tear-off the page and read the statement, question or command found on the back.  With just a bit of creativity and planning your circle square tear-off pad will move your group from ice-breaker to all-in conversations where everyone present has the opportunity to share and relate.  Below are steps to creating your own "Circle-Square" pad for your next small group gathering.

1.  Create around 20 "palm-sized" paper squares with your group name or study title on the front of each square. The front of each sheet should also include the directive to "Tear off this sheet and read the back to continue!"

2. Using the back sides of each paper, create a series of "read aloud" directives, and questions that the group or person holding the pad can answer or comment on.

3. Be sure to include a "pass the square" directive at the bottom of each back page to ensure that the square (and therefore the conversation) keeps moving.

4. The last page of the the circle-square should be a thank you for coming - see you next week group closer statement.

GRO(group)UP TOGETHER : group within a group strategy

One way to build small groups in your church is to host a large group experience with small groups included.  The goal would be to create and experience the energy and benefits of a large group dynamic, as well as, the relational dynamics of a small group all at once.  The objective would be to host a large group experience where multiple small groups exist within... to facilitate an All-Together / Separate large group-small group Life Group!  Here's how:

1. Start by choosing a series that multiple people and group types might be interested to experience such as; a book of the bible series, a common topic such as parenting, marriage, or spiritual growth.

2. Next, invite key people to build table groups within the large group setting. Table groups can be organized around age of the participants, life situations such as parents of teens, parents of younger children, single life, or blended family life, or even empty-nesters.

3. Be sure to choose a person (or couple) who will serve as a host or directors over the course of the evening or series.  Be sure to select people who are hospitable and who speak well in front of your crowd.  These hosts can give announcements, introduce video / teaching segments, release table groups for a dessert or food buffet, and keep the table groups on an appropriate timeline so that the groups end on time.

Three special benefits or advantages of Groups within a group (Large group / small group events):

1. Positive Energy.  Have you ever noticed how a crowd can draw a crowd?  When a crowd assembles people take notice and want to be a part of what's happening.  No one wants to miss out!  People enjoy being a part of something big.  In contrast, when a group is too small it can actually cause people to feel like they are wasting their time to continue to meet.  Groups within a group strategy brings the kind of positive energy that people crave.

2. Shared Resources.  Video cirriculum can be expensive!  Viewing the same video teaching before (or while) you break into small groups is a great way to save a lot of money.  It would be very costly to provide teaching dvd's for many groups.

3. Unity Through Experience:  Table groups will most certainly have their own personality and experience as they go through the study but there will forever be a special bond among all who attend.  The entire group will leave the Life Group experience with a special affinity toward others who shared the study with them.  There will likely be a few ideas, illustrations, or phrases from the series that will "stick" and be referenced or used among the people who took part in the series.


What are the pro's and con's of the Large Group - Small Group strategy?

Would you rather attend a single small group or a small group that is within a large group?  Why?

The ABC's of Life Group Ministry

To lead an effective Small group you'll need to know your ABC's.  Knowing them and keeping them in the correct order of importance will be key to your success as you connect members and grow your group spiritually!  Here they are in the correct order of importance:

A is for acceptance -- B is for belonging -- C is for content

Acceptance = Belonging:  At first glance you might think acceptance and belonging are the same thing. While they are closely related, there is a difference. Acceptance comes before belonging.  Acceptance is what you and the other group members offer to one another.  Belonging this how a group member feels about their place in the group.  Content (the biblical truth and the life principals you hope to teach and for people will absorb) may be the reason someone signs up for your group, however, it won't be why they stay actively involved.  Acceptance that results in the feeling of belonging will keep group members coming back to learn your content.

Group leaders often get the ABC's out of order.  Many group leaders give content first place in the way of value and emphasis (CAB).  The result is a "CAB" ride to disillusionment and frustration as a leader.  CAB undermines your effectiveness.  Content driven leaders often end up baffled over the reason for their dwindling or and erratic group attendance.  They question people's commitment to Christ and spiritual growth and wonder why group members are not eating up and licking the bowl when it comes to their weekly opportunity to be taught such great truths and life changing principals.

Here's the truth... CAB's always wreck!  
ABC = great attendance and spiritual growth.

Content driven leaders need to memorize this phrase... 
"People don't care how much you know until they know how much you care."

Here are 5 ways to build an  atmosphere of acceptance:

1). Acknowledge Each Person:  Welcome every guest and make sure the other group members are aware of one another as well.  Welcome each person individually but quickly look for ways to connect them with others.  Say something like, "Welcome Jane, I'm glad you came!  Hey have you met Emily?"  Quickly get guests started in conversation with one another and then excuse yourself to continue welcoming and connecting other guest.

2). Affirm Everyone:  As you greet each person and introduce the person to others, complement them by sharing an important fact about them. Share something about them that you find interesting or impressive.  For instance, people often introduce me to others and share that I am the father of 10 children as a point of interest or uniqueness.  I have a friend who writes poetry and has published 2 books.  When I often share this fact about her when I am introducing her to others.

3). Assign Involvement:  Try and ask every group member to help with some aspect of the group gatherings.  Think about the small tasks you will need to do each week and ask group members to help you do them.  Invite another group member to help you greet people at the door.  Invite group members to sign up to bring snacks or beverages.  Ask someone to help you take attendance or cue up a video the group will watch.  Ask a group member to pray or facilitate discussion by being the first to respond to the opening question after the video teaching is over.  There are a number of ways to assign involvement.  Be creative.


4). Award  Attendance:  Some groups literally award attendance by offering a graduation type of certificate to all who complete the course of study.  Other, less formal ways of awarding attendance would be to offer special prizes or incentives to people who attend regularly.  Another small way to to bolster attendance might be to make announcements about good things that will be coming up in the next session.  Build anticipation with the promise of a reward but make sure you follow through!  If you say, "Next week at this time we'll be eating chocolate cake!" then you better have cake and let them eat it too!

5). Ask Questions:  Acceptance is offered and experienced when a person (or group) genuinely asks questions about someone and truly listens to the person when they answer.  Acceptance goes way beyond  just offering someone a seat in the circle.  It must include the opportunity to open up and share something of themselves with the group.  To begin with, questions should be about the person you and not related to the content.


Do you have any ABC stories?
How do you create an ABC environment?
What are some personal questions you would use to express interest in someone and give them the opportunity to share something about themselves?
 

How to pray as a small group (and how not to)

Almost every small group includes prayer.  Whether it is prayer before a meal,  prayer as an opener or closer, prayer circles, all pray, some pray, or leader prays, the fact is, most groups pray.  Here are a few things to consider when you are looking to add the element of prayer to your small group gathering.

Know your group:  Never assume that everyone in your group is as comfortable praying as you are.  Many people are not comfortable with prayer. Know your group members and avoid putting the person who is uncomfortable or new to prayer in the position where they are forced to pray (especially aloud). 

Stay modern day:  People often change their tone of voice and verbiage when they pray.  Some use Old English or King James language in an effort to express reverence toward God in prayer.  This kind of language change up can be confusing to someone who is new to prayer.  Using new or different "biblical" or uncommon words and phrases in prayer can cause a person who is new to prayer to doubt whether he or she can or should pray.  They begin to think that prayer is reserved for spiritual giants who have a lot of practice and have mastered the use of the right words, phrases or forms and postures for prayer.

Keep it short:  Praying short prayers encourages participation.  Praying short prayers (instead of exhaustive long prayers) will leave room for others to pray about requests that have been made or application points from the material.  Group members who are new to prayer may feel encouraged to pray when they know their small prayer fits in.

Hold Out:  Depending on the type of people you are hosting, you may want to hold out on including prayer (or at least group prayer) as  a part of your first few gatherings.  Holding out on praying together may give your group time to gel in other ways first.  You can use the first two weeks to build anticipation toward the week where you will begin including prayer.

Pre-plan posture:  Think about the poster you will choose and invite people to use when you pray.  Hand holding can be appropriate for a short prayers in unity, but it can be awkward and distracting for group members during extended prayer times.  The same is true for standing or kneeling and the laying on of hands.  There is nothing worse than experiencing sweaty palms or having to break the chain in order to cover a cough, sneeze or scratch an itch.



Change it up:  There are a lot of ways to pray.  For instance, group members may learn to pray using scripture.  Group members can participate in responsive reading prayers.  People may enjoy writing out their prayers to God (possibly allow some members read their written prayers aloud). Leaders can also suggest silent prayer, or paring off into smaller groups of 2 or 3 people.  Be creative but know your audience!

Follow Up:  If requests for prayer are spoken, have someone write them down (possibly even e-mail them out to the group to pray over during the week).  Follow up with the person the next week to see if there have been any outcomes related to the request for prayer.  This not only demonstrates care and concern, it communicates faith, anticipation and expectation that God will respond.  Answered prayer inspires more prayer and results in growing faith.


When and how do you use prayer in your small group?

Life Change: what happens between group gatherings

There's a quote that I hear often concerning the power of small groups, "Life change best happens in small groups."  I agree, but what is more true, is that life change happens between small group gatherings.  Group gatherings are the place where people hear truth and enter into discovery discussions where they uncover how truth should impact their lives.  Groups are places where people can determine and declare how they will be applying truth in the following week.  Turning points happen in small groups, but life change happens when we "move".  Life change happens when life is happening.  "Life change" is as much a verb, as it is a noun.  The days between gatherings is the place where truth meets real life.  Life Group leaders should be aware of this so they can plan and facilitate group gatherings that promote life change.

This is why we are constantly pushing leaders who are good at teaching truth to also become good at facilitating discussions.  Truth un-applied is only knowledge gained.  Truth applied equals life change.  The best way to get to the point of  understanding and application is through discovery discussions that lead to decisions and declarations.  A good group leader will craft a relational environment where they can present truth, discuss truth, and help members decide and declare how to live and apply truth.

A format for relating and learning truth
1.  Relational Opening:  about 10 - 15 minutes of relating to one another in ways that are not necessarily associated with your group topic.  A time to "shoot the breeze" and express interest in one another's lives.

2. Formal Introduction:  take 2 minutes to share the format of your gathering.  Use this time to share any rules, values, or expectations so everyone is onboard with the flow of the gathering.

3. Truth Teaching:  20 -30 minutes (or less) of where someone teaches truth from and related to the Bible.

4. Discovery Discussion:  15-20 minutes (or more) where group members talk about the truth that has been presented.  Together they discuss and individually decide and declare how the truth should be applied to their lives.

5. Closing Prayer:  5-10 minutes where group members can pray for one another's needs and concerns but also ask for God's wisdom and strength to apply they truth they have learned.

6. Relational Ending:  Groups often end their gathering with relational time where group members socialize after the closing prayer.  Leaving bit of relational time a the end of the meeting will keep you from making prayer seem like it is simply the closing bell on your gathering.

NOTE: Most groups last at least 1 hour and many last 1 1/2 hours.  Groups that share a meal as part of their opening or ending relational time often use a 2 hour time-frame.

What are your thoughts concerning life change?

What format has worked for you?

Conversation Domination: dealing with a dominant personality

We've all been there, stuck in a small group suffering from conversation domination.  Sometimes the dominator is someone who just loves to hear themselves talk.  Occasionally it's someone who believes the small group is there to help them week after week with their latest crisis.  The conversation dominator might be someone who hijacks the conversation and tries to teach all they know about the topic. All too often the conversation dominator is the small group leader themselves!  This can happen when a leader lacks the skill to facilitate group conversation and simply fills the small group session with teaching.  Other times leaders are unwilling to let questions hang in the room and so they alleviate the awkward silence by answering their own questions.  In any case, conversation domination hurts the connectedness of group members and stunts their personal growth by robbing them of the chance to relate and verbally process transformational truth.

Here now are a few ways to fix the problem of conversation domination.

Ground-rules for your gathering.
It may seem like a no-brainier to many of your group members the small group is meant to be an equal opportunity conversation, but sometimes it is good to say so up front.  You might start the first group gathering with a short (2 minute) values and expectations speech where you include a statement about how to participate without dominating.

Learn the fine art of interjection.
Let's be honest, most of the time dominators just can't help themselves.  Some even say things like, "I know I'm taking up more than my share of time here but I just have to share this..."  Group leaders need to learn the fine art of interjection.  Everyone has to take a breath at some point.  Catch'em on the off beat and interject a comment or new question like, "That's interesting, I was wondering if anyone has had similar or different experience?"  Using "I was wondering" questions changes the direction and reopens the conversation for new people to participate.

Put it in print.
Sometimes it is helpful to put your group discussion questions in print.  When members see the questions ahead of time they can begin to think about their answers or responses.  Dominators may hold back when they realize there are a number of questions your group is hoping to work through.  As with ground-rules, share the printed questions with the group and express the value of creating a conversation where everyone has the opportunity to share answers and responses.

Add and object.
Do you remember that classic book Lord Of The Flies where Ralph establishes a number of rules for their gathering?  Among the rules is this one, "whoever holds the conch gets to speak."  Sometimes it's helpful to find an object that relates to your discussion and pass it around as a symbol of focus.  Whoever holds the rose, the football, the magnifying glass, the remote-control, gets to speak.

Employ the dominator.
There comes a point when you may need to just correct a dominant person alone and away from the group, however you may be able to employ the dominator and get them to help you with your mission to get everyone talking.  Sometimes dominators can become conversation creators if they are invited to speak on purpose.

What are some of your conversation domination stories?

How do you debunk dominators?

Covenants and commitments: exploring the need for a group covenant

While many small groups are "open groups" meaning; people can join them at any time, there are certain groups that will look to establish a formal commitment among the group members.  These commitments are often referred to as a "group covenant," which the leader will ask them to agree to on or before the first night that they gather as a group.

Some group leaders look to establish the covenant in a formal way by having each member of the group read and sign a group covenant.  Other leaders are less formal and simply look for all of the group members to understand the expectations related to the group and ask members to do their best to live up to those expectations throughout the season.  Still others opt to simply  explain and promote the value of regular attendance and weekly relational connection and never ask for a formal signed commitment.

Below are examples of group dynamics where covenants are helpful and most effective.

More Is Expected:

A group covenant can be effective and even necessary when the form and function of the group depends on commitment.  Sometimes the commitment is not only to attend the group, but to do some sort of extra study or work outside of the groups formal gathering.

Shared Values:

Another reason to establish a group covenant may be that your group operates with a high commitment to values such as honesty, accountability, and confidentiality.

Limited Space:

Churches often offer courses and classes through their small groups and space may be limited.  Having people sign a covenant will help ensure that those valuable spaces are filled by committed people.  For instance; some of our sports related life groups operate on a commitment that all will be present in order to play as a group or team.  

[Sample life group covenant]

Welcome!  We're so glad that you are choosing to be a part of this life group. We are looking forward to the growth and relational connection we will all experience together in this group.  This group covenant is a way for you to establish and express your personal commitment to making this group a priority in your life over the next 13 weeks.  As part of this group, you are being asked to make the following commitments:

1.  I will make this group a priority by attending each week, keeping up with at home assignments and participating openly and willingly in group discussion.

2.  I will work to build relationships with others in the group.  I will show care, provide encouragement and pray for the needs of others in the group.

3.  I commit to exploring honestly my next steps of spiritual growth and transformation.

Signature:

Date signed:

Life Groups Are In A Different Class: How adults learn & relate

When it comes to Christian eduction and discipleship, Life Groups are in a different class than traditional classes.

Classes are designed with eduction / learning in mind.  A person who attends a class is primarily attending for the purpose of learning something.  Content is king in classroom settings. 

Life Groups are purposely different than classes.  While it is true that people are often drawn to the content we offer through groups, it is usually not the main or only reason a person attends.  A good Life Group leader will seek to understand how adults learn and work to establish an environment where adults can learn by relating.

How adults learn:  One thing to remember concerning adult learning, is that adults primarily learn on a "need to know or want to know basis."  They may have signed up for your Life Group based on interest in your topic, but may not fully engage in the learning if there is not immediate need or reason to apply the content that is being shared.  Because this is true, we shouldn't be surprised when people don't burn up their ink pens taking notes.  We shouldn't get upset when they do not do the reading assignments and at-home study materials.  They are internally motivated and may actually recoil from you as the leader if they feel that you are imposing your information.  Adults like to be respected and may resist you as an imposing authority. Try and help group members tap into their own sense of self direction and self motivation.

Relationships above content:  In a Life Group, relating and connecting are more important than learning all of the content.  Die hard educators will bristle to hear me say that. We may be very excited about people "getting" or understanding the content we are presenting but we must realize and remember that not everyone will embrace, believe, accept and apply all of the content shared through our sessions.  Content often goes in one ear and out the other, but relationships last.  Unlike classrooms, relationships are king over content.  If we can get people relating and building friendships through Life Groups, they will stick with us and eventually they will hear, learn, form and apply right beliefs and ways of living.

Relational Learning: A different kind of learning needs to take place in life groups.  We don't simply want people to hear and be able to repeat what the master teacher thinks about a certain subject, rather, we are looking for people to engage interactively with the content and verbally with one another.  Unlike school children, adults have numerous life experiences that will relate with your content.  Limiting your time as teacher and asking leading questions will help group members feel more in control of their experience and brings the teacher back to the level of relationship, rather than authority.  Life change, not knowledge is the goal.  Lasting life change best happens when a person not only hears truth, but wrestles with it verbally among others who are seeking truth.  Group discussion helps move the group from simply receiving input (what the master teacher believes) to deciding what they believe and what they will do.

Some simple ways to establish a relational learning environment: One way to move from class to community would be to include food.  Position chairs in a circle instead of rows. If you teach, try sitting in the circle with your guests instead of standing.  Ask leading questions instead of always making declarative statements.  Create a conversational teaching environment where guests are encouraged to ask questions at any time.  Also, plan moments in your teaching time where you will pause and invite people to relate to one another about the subject and truth you have been presenting.

The Bottom Line:  When you focus on building a relational Life Group environment, you will succeed in creating a place where adults can explore, discuss and learn meaningful content.  Group members will learn and grow through relating.  The result of the relational learning you facilitate will be that adults will discover and live from an authentic faith of their own.

Can a Small Group be too small?

A few weeks ago I experienced it.  Our normal 8 to 10 didn't show up and the five of us who were there really felt it.  Our group dynamic shifted from our normal happy-go-lucky relational experience, to what felt like nervousness.  The clock ticked passed our start time and so we began...like a car driving on a low tire, we started into our night.  But then a funny thing happened, more of our group members arrived, spirits lifted and we gained momentum.  And then another member came in!  All of the sudden the group dynamic shifted again and I could tell that we had finally reached "critical mass".

Here's a truth we as leaders don't like to face, there is such a thing as too small when it comes to small groups and unless your Life Group has been specifically designed for just a few, you may suffer the negative impacts of being too small.  Let's compare and contrast the dynamics of smaller and larger groups.  

1. The smaller the group, the harder you will work at discussion. You know that "pregnant pause" that comes after you have dropped a great question for your group to interact with?  Well, here's the truth... the smaller the group, the longer the pause.  Groups with 8 + people will enjoy an easier flow of conversation. Even if you can get a smaller group to talk the conversation well can run dry easily.  In contrast, the larger group discussion, with multiple minds and hearts engaged, will likely flow easily and in such a way that the leader will only need nudge and direct the flow of the conversation.  Leaders of larger groups will simply keep the conversation moving by interjecting new questions into the steam of conversation.  Smaller groups tend to get through all their content and discussion quickly and experience less interesting and less-than-engaging conversations simply because there are fewer people and therefore fewer thoughts and experiences to draw from. Larger groups use up their time with a rich and relational dialog that often has to be drawn to a close by a time-conscious leader.

2.  Larger groups enjoy the benefit of personality balance.  Let's be honest, there's often someone in every group that is E.G.R.  (extra grace required).  In a smaller small group, this person stands out.  Over time, group members begin to see the gathering as an endurance test.  If the group were larger, this person (and others who are like him/her) won't have near the same affect on the group dynamic.  A larger number will help absorb the awkwardness these people can sometimes inadvertently introduce.

3.  The more the merrier!  When a group is too small there is a less than joyful feeling in the air (especially if people know the leader had hoped for more to be in attendance).  The truth is, not everyone who said "yes" to coming will actually come.  It is also true that even the most committed person will likely not make it to every gathering.  So, having 20 people say "yes" to coming and then ending up with 10 - 12 who actually show up is a win that will keep you out of the too small danger zone.  (for more on inviting people to your group click here!)

Eight+ Would Be Great!
I have observed and found it true that Life Group leaders who lead 8+ sized groups are the happiest leaders.  They generally feel satisfied with pouring out their energy for that amount of people.  They feel good when they can open and direct a good flowing conversation.  These leaders will be happy to lead again.  Leaders who lead groups that are too small often end a season exhausted and are hesitant to lead again.

What do you think?  What size of group would you be happy to lead?  Let's chat.

Are there other pros or cons that you can share?