The Leadership Hand Off | 3 reasons to share leadership inside your small group.

One way to keep group attendance up and group members actively engaged  is to share & rotate leadership.  Great small group leaders are ones who know what they must do for the group to operate a successful group, however, they also know what they can share or give way to other capable people.  Shared leadership in a small group is a great way to build new leaders, create engaged and invested group members, as well as bust the boredom.  Let's look at these three ideas a bit closer.

1. Build New Leaders:  There are a lot of people currently in small groups who have what it takes to lead a group of their own but for a number of reasons they choose not to lead.  One of the common reasons they choose not to lead is the simple lack of confidence in themselves.  Lack of confidence exists where there is lack of experience.  Giving people the opportunity to lead a session or two will provide them a small success experience that will certainly boost their confidence and give them a taste of leadership without having to bite off more than they can chew.

2. More Invested:  Many leaders take a "do it all myself" approach when it comes to leadership of their small group.  Servant hood is often a part of their motivation.  Their line of thought is  that they want everyone to just come and relax.  These leaders think they are being kind and doing everyone a service by not adding any pressure to do anything for the group other than be present, learn and relate.  While this is a noble idea, leaders often find that their "do everything to serve all" is rewarded with half-hearted commitment from group members and lack-luster engagement or involvement.  Shared leadership of sessions or parts of the small group experience will help engage group members in ways that cause them to care about the results of the group.  Shared leadership moves them from participant / spectator to owner and investor in relationship to the purpose and outcome results of the group. Group members who share in leadership will become more interested in things like group attendance, growth of the group members, and successful relational connections.

3. Boredom Buster:  Believe it or not, there will be some who will find your leadership and presentation style boring.  Even those who like you a lot will appreciate the opportunity to hear from capable others.  Leaders who work from the motto "variety is the spice of life" will find that there is strength in using a number of capable leaders to lead, host, or teach a variety of experiences within the small group season.  A good small group leader offers capable group members the freedom to lead using their own style of speaking that is true to their own personality, and encourages them to illustrate truth using their own personal stories.  Personal stories are interesting to group members and create an environment of honest relating.

Below are a list of areas of a typical small group a leader might consider sharing with other capable leaders.

Ice-breakers and mixers, joke telling
Intro & Recap of a video presentation
Teaching content
Comming up with discussion questions
Leading / facilitating group discussions
Closing prayer
Coordiating snacks
Information and care phone calls to group members




What other ideas do you have?
What other benefits are there to shared / rotating leadership?

Conversation Domination: dealing with a dominant personality

We've all been there, stuck in a small group suffering from conversation domination.  Sometimes the dominator is someone who just loves to hear themselves talk.  Occasionally it's someone who believes the small group is there to help them week after week with their latest crisis.  The conversation dominator might be someone who hijacks the conversation and tries to teach all they know about the topic. All too often the conversation dominator is the small group leader themselves!  This can happen when a leader lacks the skill to facilitate group conversation and simply fills the small group session with teaching.  Other times leaders are unwilling to let questions hang in the room and so they alleviate the awkward silence by answering their own questions.  In any case, conversation domination hurts the connectedness of group members and stunts their personal growth by robbing them of the chance to relate and verbally process transformational truth.

Here now are a few ways to fix the problem of conversation domination.

Ground-rules for your gathering.
It may seem like a no-brainier to many of your group members the small group is meant to be an equal opportunity conversation, but sometimes it is good to say so up front.  You might start the first group gathering with a short (2 minute) values and expectations speech where you include a statement about how to participate without dominating.

Learn the fine art of interjection.
Let's be honest, most of the time dominators just can't help themselves.  Some even say things like, "I know I'm taking up more than my share of time here but I just have to share this..."  Group leaders need to learn the fine art of interjection.  Everyone has to take a breath at some point.  Catch'em on the off beat and interject a comment or new question like, "That's interesting, I was wondering if anyone has had similar or different experience?"  Using "I was wondering" questions changes the direction and reopens the conversation for new people to participate.

Put it in print.
Sometimes it is helpful to put your group discussion questions in print.  When members see the questions ahead of time they can begin to think about their answers or responses.  Dominators may hold back when they realize there are a number of questions your group is hoping to work through.  As with ground-rules, share the printed questions with the group and express the value of creating a conversation where everyone has the opportunity to share answers and responses.

Add and object.
Do you remember that classic book Lord Of The Flies where Ralph establishes a number of rules for their gathering?  Among the rules is this one, "whoever holds the conch gets to speak."  Sometimes it's helpful to find an object that relates to your discussion and pass it around as a symbol of focus.  Whoever holds the rose, the football, the magnifying glass, the remote-control, gets to speak.

Employ the dominator.
There comes a point when you may need to just correct a dominant person alone and away from the group, however you may be able to employ the dominator and get them to help you with your mission to get everyone talking.  Sometimes dominators can become conversation creators if they are invited to speak on purpose.

What are some of your conversation domination stories?

How do you debunk dominators?

It Takes Two: why every leader needs a co-leader

One of the biggest challenges life group leaders face is the task of finding a co-leader or helper who will join them as they form, fill, and facilitate their small group. Some leaders fail to recruit a co-leader or helper because they do not want to inconvenience anyone.  Others go-it-alone because they simply do not feel there there is much that a co-leader or helper can do for them.

Whatever the case, here are a few reasons why it takes two to make a thing go right in the world of small groups.

Power Planning: Two heads are better than one when it comes to thinking through and planning out your group sessions.  A co-leader can help you with things like; mapping out your group sessions according to your book or curriculum.  Together, you can innovate icebreakers and quality questions for group conversation.

Two to Teach: A co leader may also be someone you can share the teaching or facilitation load with.  Only the naive small group leader believes he will make it to every single one of the group sessions.  Life happens! Sickness, unexpected tragedy, and opportunities come our way that may knock us off course and out of leadership.  A co-leader can be there to cover you when you are unable to lead or facilitate your group.  Leaders who fail to have a co-leader often find themselves having to cancel their group.  This is disappointing to group members and there is always a loss of momentum for the group in terms of the study and among group members relationally.

Double-Talk Marketing and Inviting: One of the greatest benefits in having a co-leader is that there will be at least two people excitedly talking with others about your new group.  Personal invitation is such an important key toward filling your group.  Having two excited people working in their circles of influence means you will more quickly find group members.

Co-mmunication:  A co-leader or helper can also help you with tasks like taking reporting attendance, and communicating with the group via email, phone calls, and social media communication.

Dual traction prayer & pastoral care:  Because small groups are the way many churches accomplish basic pastoral care for their members, it is important to have more than one person serving the members of your group in the way of personal care, prayer and encouragement.

Choosing a co-leader:
Life Group leaders often ask if their spouse can serve as their co-leader.  Most of the time they are simply looking for an easy way to fill the co-leader / helper slot.  Your spouse can certainly be a part of your planning and facilitating but they should not be your co-leader due to the fact that what affects you will directly affect your spouse as well.  Difficulties like sickness, being snowed in, and family matters all have the same affect on your spouse as they have on you.  It is wise to choose a co-leader / helper who is not a family member.  A second value in choosing someone other than your spouse is the value of including and building other leaders.  Life Group leaders should always be looking to build others up in leadership so that new groups can launch with well trained / field tested leadership.  Be sure to choose someone who is willing to serve in all the ways described above.  Work hard at communication with your co-leader / helper.  They will serve you and the group best when they have been included in all the phases of group development, planning, filling and facilitating.

Choose a person who fits The Three C's of leadership:

Character:  They are a person who reflects a love for God and a love for others.  They are helpful, positive and encouraging.  They are faithful and loyal toward you as leader.

Competency:  They have some skill in the area of leadership you are needing them to serve.  They understand the purpose of your group and they have the ability to serve the group functionally and relationally

Chemistry:  Choose a co-leader / helper that you enjoy working with!  Working with others in ministry can and should be fun.  Invite people you like to to be on your team.

Be sure to choose people who have ALL THREE C's.  Compromise on even one of them and you'll have less than satisfactory results.  Find a person with all three and you'll have great success.

Measuring Success: 4 Key factors to consider when gauging the success of your group

How do you measure success as a small group leader?  Most small group leaders have neither defined, nor determined how success should be gauged and measured.  Many are satisfied if someone shows up! While people showing up can certainly be viewed as a level of success, there are a number of other gauge worthy goals a small group leader should work toward. Here are four measurable factors for leaders to consider when gauging small group success.

1) Names and numbers:
The truth is, poor attendance to your small group should be an indication that something's not right.  You will need to take an honest look at your way of inviting and marketing your group.  If you started with a good number of group attenders but have dwindled down to only a few, then you may need to re-think your approach to programming and facilitating your group.  Beyond that, a lack of follow-up and care for group members will also have a direct affect on group attendance.  Be aware that the number one factor related to achieving good and consistent group attendance is your personal invitation and follow up just before the group begins, but also after the group has begun meeting.  

Because our church has strategic goals related to helping people connect in small groups, we ask our life group leaders to not only report the number of people who are attending their group, but to also share the names of each individual who attends.  Having the names of each group member allows us to measure the real number of people who are connecting in small groups.  Tracking attendance by name helps us understand if one person is attending more than one group.  When we only track numbers without names, we run the risk of having several people inflate the overall number of people we believe are attending small groups.   

2) Stories of relational connection:
Numbers don't lie but they are also not the whole story when it comes to knowing if you're successful as a small group leader.  Though there may be a good number of people attending your small group, another measure of success you should consider would be, "Are there any stories of relational connection from your group?" As a life group leader you are not simply concerned with seeing people understand Biblical content, you're goal is also to help people relate, connect, and move closer to one another in Christian friendship.

3) Stories of transformation:

The third measure of success is, "Can you share any stories of transformation?"  In other words, has there been any movement in anyone's life spiritually?  Are people picking up spiritual habits?  Has anyone shared how their attitude, actions or behaviors have begun to change?  Has anyone taken new steps toward involvement in the church or serving others?  Are there new commitments being made?  Are there any stories of healing, repentance, forgiveness, and faith?

4) Growth of leadership:

The final measure of success to consider is, "How have I grown as a leader and have I been able to identify other emerging leaders within the group?"  What have you learned about leading and serving others?  What areas of leadership have you identified as your strengths that you can continue to build and become even more skilled at?   What areas of leadership are you not as strong and therefore may need to identify helpers and co-leaders who can assist you by carrying out certain tasks related to the formation and function of your group.  Who among your group members is a person you have identified as a potential leader?  What steps will you take toward involving them and inviting them to explore their opportunities to serve the church in leadership?

What other ways do you measure success as a small group leader?

The Power of a Post: social media matters

Within a couple of finger taps I can be on the emotional and sometimes intellectual roller coaster known as my facebook news feed.  With every upward stroke I am brought new experiences of thought, circumstance and emotion.  My friends are all there providing comments on their lives and I admit that I enjoy much of the play-by-play commentary they post.  But sometimes, I wish facebook would interject a pop up barrier that says something like, "ARE YOU SURE YOU WANT TO POST THIS?" Maybe then some of them would think twice before posting.  Why?  Because words have weight and therefore, posts have power.

What you state in your "status" matters a great deal because you have influence.  Words stir up hearts and minds in ways that we are often unaware.  With just a few key strokes we have the power to shape other people's thoughts, ideas, opinions and perspectives.  Alongside that, if it is true that a picture is worth a thousand words, then we may need to think three times about the images we use and post.

Life Group leaders need to be aware of  the power of a post.  When we say "yes" to leadership we give up "our right" to say anything and everything that is on our minds.  Why? because we become carriers of our church name and with that it's vision, mission and core values.  More importantly, we are Christ's ambassadors and carry His name, vision, mission and core values!  So, instead, of "What's on your mind?", leaders ask a different question... "What's the wise thing for me to say or share".  Of course, when I say "wise" I am not talking about making every status update a Benjamin Franklin quote, instead I'm talking about weighing words, thinking things through, and understanding and even leveraging influence.

For instance, if I say,  "I can't wait until this day is over!"  You could read a number of things into that status statement.  You might think... "Oh, poor Todd is having a really bad day."  or you might think... "Wow, Todd is excited!  He and Tami must have some really fun evening plans."  With a post like that, I may even run the risk of having you think that I hate my job.  In any case, saying "what's on my mind", might put the wrong idea in yours!  Life Group leaders, please think twice before you post.  Perhaps Philippians 4:8 can serve as a filter for us all.  If it helps, change the last part "think about such things" to post such things.

Philippians 4:8

⁸ Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.






 

Next Steps Suggestions: the job of every Life Group Leader

One of the goals of Life Group Ministry is to help people take next steps toward Jesus.  That means every group leader is looking to "earn the right" to suggest spiritual steps members can take.  Sometimes the next step is to invite a person to attend an event the church is hosting. Another person's next step might be to a invite them to a Sunday morning service.  Still others, may simply need to be encouraged to begin connecting with Jesus through a daily quiet time.  In any case, knowing and praying for your group members is key to discerning what next steps to suggest.

If a daily quiet time is a next step you would like to suggest to your group members,we have a great resource for you!  It is a three month devotional called "The Word For You Today".  This simple devotional is written for the purpose of offering strength and guidance for daily living.  The newest devotional (pictured here in the blog) begins on Dec. 1st.  The devotional might be a nice thing for your group members to do during the holiday season while Life Groups are on break here at First Assembly Community Ministries.  You can pick up the devotionals at First Look (located in the lobby of the church).