3rd Gear Small Groups | Getting your group humming spiritually and relationally

My first car was actually a truck. Near my 16th birthday I purchased a 1963 Chevrolet pick up truck for $300.  I loved the look of my old truck.  The motor worked great but I cannot say the same for the the gear shifter.  It had an on the column, a.k.a. "three on the tree" gear shifter and it was hard to get in gear.  First gear was fairly easy, simply pull the lever toward you and push down.  However, 2nd and 3rd were more tricky.  Second was supposed to be push away from yourself and toward the dash and up.  Third was push away and down, but for some reason it just wasn't always that easy.  There were plenty of days I would drive all the way to school in 2nd gear trying hard the entire time to get it into 3rd.  Third gear was illusive in my old truck and I have found that third gear can be just as illusive in small groups. Read on... are you getting your small group into to 3rd gear or are you stuck in first or second?

1st Gear:  The Gathering.
In first gear you group will decide to meet regularly with one another (weekly is best). You'll do ice breakers and experience interactive discussions based on the Bible. You'll likely pray for one another's needs and share snacks. Group members may even be willing to serve the group by bringing snacks, taking attendance, or helping set up / tear down tables and chairs.  

2nd Gear: Commitment and Connection.
In second gear you'll find that a "shift" has taken place.  Group members are committed to being present.  In this gear, group members are now more comfortable sharing their personal stories.  In second gear, people come not only because they are learning good content, but they come for the relational connection they feel with the other group members.  A second gear group is an environment where people willingly contribute to the discussions.  Also, in second gear you will find that certain group members will begin to relate beyond the gathering.  They may talk by phone or internet, share lunches or dinners, or engage in recreational activities and other outings together.

3rd Gear: Belonging to One Another.
In this third gear, group members move to a level of fellowship, friendship and connection where they are comfortable sharing struggles and even sins.  In this gear you'll find that group members are willing to serve one another.  They share and respond to one another in times of sickness or need.  In third gear your group members feel responsibility to care for one another physically, emotionally, and spiritually.  They celebrate one another's accomplishments and sacrifice to alleviate each others sufferings.

How about you?  Are you getting your small group into to 3rd gear or are you stuck in first or second?

Covenants and commitments: exploring the need for a group covenant

While many small groups are "open groups" meaning; people can join them at any time, there are certain groups that will look to establish a formal commitment among the group members.  These commitments are often referred to as a "group covenant," which the leader will ask them to agree to on or before the first night that they gather as a group.

Some group leaders look to establish the covenant in a formal way by having each member of the group read and sign a group covenant.  Other leaders are less formal and simply look for all of the group members to understand the expectations related to the group and ask members to do their best to live up to those expectations throughout the season.  Still others opt to simply  explain and promote the value of regular attendance and weekly relational connection and never ask for a formal signed commitment.

Below are examples of group dynamics where covenants are helpful and most effective.

More Is Expected:

A group covenant can be effective and even necessary when the form and function of the group depends on commitment.  Sometimes the commitment is not only to attend the group, but to do some sort of extra study or work outside of the groups formal gathering.

Shared Values:

Another reason to establish a group covenant may be that your group operates with a high commitment to values such as honesty, accountability, and confidentiality.

Limited Space:

Churches often offer courses and classes through their small groups and space may be limited.  Having people sign a covenant will help ensure that those valuable spaces are filled by committed people.  For instance; some of our sports related life groups operate on a commitment that all will be present in order to play as a group or team.  

[Sample life group covenant]

Welcome!  We're so glad that you are choosing to be a part of this life group. We are looking forward to the growth and relational connection we will all experience together in this group.  This group covenant is a way for you to establish and express your personal commitment to making this group a priority in your life over the next 13 weeks.  As part of this group, you are being asked to make the following commitments:

1.  I will make this group a priority by attending each week, keeping up with at home assignments and participating openly and willingly in group discussion.

2.  I will work to build relationships with others in the group.  I will show care, provide encouragement and pray for the needs of others in the group.

3.  I commit to exploring honestly my next steps of spiritual growth and transformation.

Signature:

Date signed: